Artemis: *lounging by a spring on piles of deerskin surrounded by three dozen naked girls with a dead pan expression* Virginity.
“Heracles, they’re lesbians”.
Bold to assume that Apollo didn’t already know
Some ancient dudebro: I tried to convince your sister that she should marry me because I am a great hunter but she denied me saying it was against her godly nature
Dudebro: what does that even mean? I know she’s like goddess of hunting and child birth, and I don’t know maybe something else but nothing that should prevent marriage with as upstanding a match as myself no?
Apollo: *too amused by knowing exactly why the dudebro got turned down to smite dudebro instantly for trying to guy talk with him about his sister* well gee let’s find her and ask
*transports them to Artemis*
Apollo: *peak sarcasm* hey sis we were just wondering, what are you the goddess of?
Artemis: *lounging by a spring on piles of deerskin surrounded by three dozen naked girls with a dead pan expression and knowing exactly what kind of reaction her brother is looking for * Virginity
Apollo: *cracks up*
Dudebro: *exits the spring persued by bear*
Did you not only just reference the Orion myth but also like…Shakespeare?
Yeah pretty much.
I didn’t wanna name Orion outright because there a couple of versions of his myth and I’m used to my friends getting picky about their myths so I side stepped on autopilot, but he was the major inspiration.
Then I needed to have some ending or reaction from the dudebro, and since bears are one of the animals sacred to Artemis I figured why not make a slightly obscure corny joke?
Me, a genius: creates erasable surfaces in my grimoire
OK LOL but no joke this is aN AWESOME way to cut down on pages you use in your grimoire if you’re using a bound journal and want it to last a LONG time
So if you can afford it, get you some self-laminating sheets and wet-erase markers (wet erase because when you close the journal, dry-erase may rub off due to friction between the pages!) and make some reusable pages in your grimoire! They’re great for pages that you want to use often but don’t want to dedicate so many pages to such repeated things.
Real Quick How-to:
Decorate the page how you want it
Measure the self-laminating sheet against the paper
Measure again
Cut out the sheet
SLOWLY apply sheet to your page using the following method: peel a little bit of the backing off, smooth onto your page, peel more, smooth, repeat until the page is laminated.
A pillow case (preferably baby blue, liliac, or white. Basically a soft pastel color.)
Clock hands (easy to get in craft or hardware stores)
Cotton and/or
Lavender and/or
A white soft (baby) feather/s
If you want, add the target’s name.
Take the clock hands and bend them in half WITHOUT SNAPPING THEM.
Place them inside the pillow case with the rest of the correspondences.
Hush softly inside the pillow case or sing a lullaby.
When you’re done, tie as many knots as you can with the remaining of the pillow case as the filling sits at the bottom.
If you feel you need it, chant:
“Sleepy baby,
Close your eyes.
Sleep through all
Of your alarms.
Even coffee
Can’t take back
Those dark bags
Under your eyes.
Regardless when
You go to bed
Wake up tired
Sleepy head.”
Hide the case somewhere away from the light. If possible, under the bed. To undo the curse, simply undo the knots and ring a bell or alarm by the contents while letting light reach them.
I think it’s my favorite curse of all the ones I’ve designed.
If you see someone selling off a mineral under the trade name Chrysotile,Crocidolite, Tremolite, Actinolite, Anthophyllite, Amosite or quartz with asbestos inclusion please don’t risk your health by buying it. It doesn’t matter what the company may claim, all forms of asbestos are equally harmful and can cause lung cancer.
Lately I have seen asbestos under this trade name, tigerseye crocidolite is an exception to this as the fibers have been replaced by iron oxides. Tremolite in its fibrous form is literally asbestos so please be aware when buying.
I love how in the Lokasenna half the time the gods don’t even deny the accusations thrown at them, just give a responding insult. Like
“You’re a filthy coward who only cares about sex!”
“Ha ha, you got me there, but, I mean, so are you.”
Odin: “you had sex as a woman!” Loki: “so did you. I remember when..” Frigga:” TOO MUCH INFORMATION! what’s in the past it’s in the past”
And then Loki: Shut up! You cheated on Odin!
Frigga: And you killed my child. So. Yeah.
Loki: You slept with your brother!
Freyja: You slept with a horse… what’s your point? Is this a contest? Did I win?
Sif: ok surely I am the only one here who you won’t insult because I’ve never done a single shitty thing ever Loki: Loki: you are aware we totally banged, right? Sif: SHIT, I forgot!
Beyla: I think I hear Thor coming to kick your áss.
Loki: I have taken this into deep consideration and have decided that you’re dirty and I don’t care.
Lokasenna, the Awkward Thanksgiving Fight of the Aesir.
That is the best description of the Lokasenna I have ever heard.
Lokasenna: Where Loki doesn’t just pour the tea, he sprays it all over everyone.
may the bridges I burn light the way 