Hey guys I was bored so I made a witch type generator
😉
Reblog and say which one you got
Useless Fire Witch.
If that isnt the most accurate effing thing.
Educated urban witch.
I approve!
Modern crystal witch
Eh close enough
goth hex witch lol
I got gay solar witch and I feel very attacked.
Vintage hedge witch lol
Evil Celtic witch and I ain’t even mad.
godly forest witch is acceptable lol
Powerful divination witch
inhuman ice witch 😂
artsy swamp witch – I like it
Feminist zodiac witch. I’ll take it.
Author: starlingwitch
Cleanses items while using a pur water filter: Witchcraft
My favorite Loki worshiping mood is when I go “damn Loki is this u” and I get a wave of “ex-fucking-scuse me” immediately followed by “I know why you feel that way but #rude”
My bro-in-law insists on watching ghost adventures and I swear every thing is satanic and summoned by devil worship. I would pay good money for you to go one one of those shows, just eating popcorn while the drama boys are freaking out over their machines: “There’s an evil presence here!” “Yeah no Bob just wants someone to give him some coffee and keep teenagers from covering the cabins in graffiti.”
I would pay actual money for this opportunity.
@dancing-thru-clouds and @upyrica should come along too, so that we can all lie back and sip wine and eat snacks and laugh at people.
“Did you hear that???!?!?!”
“That was a raccoon. But Michael wants you to stop telling him to say something, he’s an introvert and was trying to nap and it’s very rude of you to keep yelling at him to turn a stupid light on.”
Well, to be fair, with my presence they will at last have something Satanic there.
I mean, we need an expert to laugh at them and say “This isn’t Satanic, you silly boys, I know Satanic and this isn’t it.”
Angsty teenagers and clueless civilians, mostly, which is, in my experience, worse.
Ugh. Infinitely.
Soccer moms, don’t forget soccer moms.
You know something that has bugged me about Ghost Adventures and other paranormal shows? They always try to lure ghost kids out with toys. Granted, toys that light up are fun and more practical, but it’s still a chancy shot that they’ll be brave enough to hang out with a bunch of intimidating adults. But you know what kids will go for 99% of time?
Ice cream.
Yeah, much less practical because of how melty it gets but hells bells, if I was a kid spirit stuck in an abandoned orphanage, I would come running if some adults with weird light-up machines offered me ice cream.
Probably could coerce a malevolent spirit or two to calm the fuck down as well with ice cream laced with alcohol. It’s hard to stay mad when offered chocolate ice cream mixed with Kahlua.
Shit. Offer me chocolate ice cream and Kahlua and I’d light up all the stupid machines you want.
From Wikipedia:
Nuestra Señora de la Santa Muerte (Spanish for Our Lady of Holy Death), often shortened to Santa Muerte, is a female deity or folk saint in Mexican and Mexican-American folk Catholicism. A personification of death, she is associated with healing, protection, and safe delivery to the afterlife by her devotees. Despite condemnation by the Catholic Church, her cult has become increasingly prominent since the 2000s.
The worship of Santa Muerte is condemned by the Catholic Church in Mexico as invalid, but it is increasingly firmly entrenched in Mexican culture.
Santa Muerte is also seen as a protector of homosexual, bisexual, and transgender communities in Mexico, since many are considered to be outcast from society. Many LGBT people ask her for protection from violence, hatred, disease, and to help them in their search for love.
Her intercession is commonly invoked in same-sex marriage ceremonies performed in Mexico. The Iglesia Católica Tradicional México-Estados Unidos, also known as the Church of Santa Muerte, recognizes gay marriage and performs religious wedding ceremonies for homosexual couples.
Man how did I not know about this magical gay skeleton queen until today?
Me: *knows it’s pronounced luh-mAs*
My last brain cell: llamas 🙂
may the bridges I burn light the way 